Who are these people, anyway?

Image via Wikipedia

Everybody knows that rednecks can't be geeks too, right? That has always been the conventional wisdom; which is how the Redneck Radio Network came to be the under-the-radar, low-flying, heat-seeking truth-missile of comedy that is now found on Ustream. Nobody was looking for geeky rednecks, and all of us involved in our little network slouched, slumped, and back-doored our way to number 17 on MySpace's Country/Redneck comedians. That's right. The Doghouse with Baddog, the RRN's flagship webcast, is now rubbing elbows with some cool comedy acts in the USA.

In June of 2007, all of us found our way to NowLive. Brokenpole (Jonathan Sparks) and his wife, Smokinbeaver, (Sharon Sparks) went there so that they could interact with each other. The two of them (Broken and Smokin) were living apart 90 percent of the year due to Jon's contract job with a nuclear power plant. Baddog, (Bob Dilts) Meroll and C-roll (Marty and Casey Rollins) and their extended families came to the "Social Broadcasting" website in order to do live, improvisational comedy. We all met, including Marty's wife, Tina; and Amanda and Shelly Dilts (Shelly is Bob's wife, Amanda the daughter) and from that moment on a hot, sticky June afternoon internet history was experiencing the vagina-ripping birth contractions of something more than a comedy webcast.......Then we met Pastor Rick. Yea, verily; the rednecks would surely perish in the flames of eternal perdition if it weren't for the spiritual guidance of our internet preacher, Pastor Rick Hope of Lillian, TX. We all lean heavily on Rick. It is in his show that we all come together to pray, and hope that God won't get too mad at us for some of the foul jokes that we make. Rick loves us all without judgement, which shows that Texans aren't immune to the Dumbass gene.

Enter the International Glamour-Puss of All Media, the lovely and talented Ester Goldberg: from the moment that Meroll and Ester exchanged their first loving insults, a connection was formed that spawned the Bus Ride to Hell. There was a particular Sunday afternoon show that we all did on Nowlive when I think all of us knew that something magical was happening. I think it was Meroll who threw down the gauntlet; challenging Ester Goldberg in a Hellen Keller Joke deathmatch. When the Hellen Keller jokes degenerated to dead-baby jokes, there was an almost audible CLICK that occurred when the planets of old, glamour-filled Hollywood lined up with the rusted-out pickup trucks on Redneck Road.

The summer of 2007 was a scorcher. California was on fire; and in the deep south, it was hotter than a blistered pussy in a pepper patch. In their little corner of the world, the rednecks were burning up the internets. At some point, the admins at NowLive asked the show hosts to try to remain on-air as long as possible, so that NowLive could test it's durability. Never to be the ones to pass up an opportunity to break some shit, the Rednecks rallied around Baddog and crew; helping them stay on-air continuously in a 137-hour marathon. Bob, Shelly, and Amanda rotated in shifts and kept up a constant dialog with callers and chatters without playing music. Every Monday thru Friday, at 7pm Eastern time, the Doghouse with Baddog went live; rain or shine, holiday or no holiday. The Doghouse established a reputation for consistency that is unparalleled. The same consistency is continued on Ustream. Every Monday thru Friday, at 7pm Eastern, 4 Pacific you will find the Doghouse is live.

Living by the philosophy that "it ain't funny if it ain't real", The Redneck Radio Network has opened the book of our lives to the world. It would be pointless for us to take ourselves seriously at all, so we let y'all into our lives. Hell, laugh at us. We sure as hell do. When life boils down to a choice between laughing and crying, the members of RRN almost always pick the laughing part. The rest of the world seems to enjoy laughing at us, too, hence our success on MySpace.

Don't worry, though, y'all. There is no chance in hell that the Redneck Radio Network will ever get too big for our britches; not with Meroll's hemorrhoids, Brokenpole's broken pole, Baddog's tendency to break his own ribs out of hormonal angst, and C-roll's job as mayor of Lackanookie. As we have since we started this populist adventure back in June of 2007, we intend to continue. Our loyal audience is what keeps us coming back to do shows. Folks who have followed us to Ustream from Nowlive especially deserve our heartfelt thanks and love. Y'all are some crazy mammyrammers, and possibly mentally ill ones, too. You know who you are. I wouldn't presume to call y'all out in public, Warmachine, AndrewPainter, Marywallace, Jessie Odell, Ripper, Eboe, Sapphiregoth, TiggerWarrior, QueenBeeYatch, Ramona, kenny C, Kaeos,Fozzie, Realvee, Shocker, and Zazz. Y'all have total anonymity.

We are going to post this little missive in several places on the internet. Wherever you find this, stay tuned for more updates. I'll be posting bios and curriculum vitae for the individuals in our little network. They should be interesting, seeing as how our particular collection of misfits, bums, ex-sailors and porn addicts are reluctant to talk about their individual pasts.

The Doghouse with Baddog is number 17 on MySpace redneck/country comedy. Check out the videos there, y'all. (www.myspace.com/doghousewithbaddog )

(DoghouseWithBaddog show)
(Redneck Radio News show)
(Wake up Call with Broken and Smokin show)
(Sunday Mornings with Pastor Rick show)

(Doghouse with Baddog Dog Blog )
(Redneck Radio News Blog )
(Reneck Radio Network Blog )
(Morning Rant blog )

(www.redneckradionews.com )
(www.redneckradionews.tv )
(www.redneckradio.tv )

(doghouse twitter )
(meroll twitter )
(croll66 twitter )
(brokenpole twitter )

Casey Rollins (c-roll66)

Chief Science Officer

Redneck Radio Network

More Twitter Stuff

Image via CrunchBase

For the last couple weeks, I have been putting a lot of effort into Twitter. As a result, I've added 800 or so followers. Us rednecks had predicted much earlier that Twitter was going to be a powerful and ubiquitous tool, and we acted upon our prediction by investing much time in Tweeting. See our podcasts on Ustream for The Doghouse and Redneck Radio News. I started using Twhirl to keep up with what's going on in the Twitterverse. Twubble helped me find people to follow. Twitter.grader helps me keep track of how I'm doing. Twittercounter measures my progress, and TwitterKarma helps me manage all my followers and those I'm following.

Microblogging is fun. I've met some interesting folks recently, and I'm really digging that. See y'all on Twitter, mammyrammers.

I received a DM yesterday from a Twitter friend, @RightWingNews, thanking me for following him on my favorite little social app. I was checking his blog and found this interview with Benjamin Netanyahu right there on the front page.

My regular readers understand that I am not a conservative. I reject the label, and I also reject the liberal nomenclature, as well. I guess if I had to sum up my politics with one word, I couldn't do it. The closest that I can come to stating a political affiliation is that I'm a libertarian/anarchist/humanist/independent/green/blue-collar/environmentalist/Rasta/Scots-Irish redneck. Okay. I've gotten my political perspective out there so I can say that if I could, I'd cosign on everything that Netanyahu said in the interview at the above link. Everything that the former PM of Israel said about Iran, especially. The reality is that Hamas may as well be wearing Iranian military uniforms, because Hamas is doing Iran's dirty work, with the support of the Iranian government. Israel has shown what I believe to be amazing restraint in not flying to Tehran and leveling all of their government buildings. I wonder how we would react here, if Mexico, Cuba, or Canada were lobbing missiles over here? I'll tell you this: Hamas doesn't give a ratfuck about the Palestinian people. Their hatred of Israel and the Jewish people overrides any concern over the lives of real, innocent people. I promise you that Israel will quit bombing the shit out of Gaza if Hamas would leave, taking their missiles with them. The Israelis are past trying to achieve revenge for every death. If the Jewish people attempted to exact vengeance on every nation or people that has tried to wipe out the Jews, they'd just say "fuck it" and nuke the world. If Hamas will quit launching rockets and killing people in Israel, then the Israelis will quit their military ops in Gaza.

For Palestinian noncombatant civilians in Gaza, life is hell. Does anybody think there is a chance that the Palestinians will focus their hatred on Iran, for giving Hamas money and weapons? There have to be some reasonable folks left in Gaza......or have they been killed already? Sigh. I dunno, either.

Greedy execs are killing business

Image via WikipediaI was checking up on Twitter today, and was directed to this blog by Paul Gram. Paul writes about the failure of Costco to maximize the customer experience. Preach, Paul, preach on my brother! Although we don't have a Costco where I live, I am very familiar with the experience that Paul had as he was leaving his local Costco. I say this to Paul and all of my readers: the reason why Costco and other retailers have issues with customer service is because of greed.

How in the world does one get from point A, which is an employee refusing to acknowledge a customer's thanks, to point B, which is greed? Bear with me, and I'll try to make this clear below.

I work for a major retail chain, part-time. Prior to my hire, I went through two interviews, a piss-test for drugs, took a stupid, unscientific test to determine whether or not I would steal from the store or do drugs on the job, and questioned intensively about my product knowledge. The pay for such an intense screening process: seven bucks an hour. After my hire, I was completely untrained in the actual mechanics of my job, i.e. things like training on the use of the company's accounting software. Every retail store has their own unique software on their cash registers, where each bar code is scanned and tracked, and the accounting is done for credit, cash, and check transactions. Instead of the practical training which would have really helped me to make sales quickly and efficiently, I was given a couple of hours of head-noise on VHS dealing with the company's "ethics and culture". Supposedly, ethics are a very important part of this retail chain's culture; the truth, though, is that the place where I work is a business, and their precious ethics go right out the window when there is a dollar on the line. I've known our customer service center to be totally unresponsive to customer complaints, and to deliberately make it difficult or impossible for a customer to receive the support promised (in writing) on signage all through the store.

Since the bulk of all retailers pay less than subsistence wages to their employees, business suffers. As Paul found at Costco, surly employees cause huge customer dissatisfaction. Most of the time, retail front-line workers are poorly compensated, and have no real incentive to perform at their best; especially for an employer that treats their front-line, non-management employees as if they are a disposable commodity. There is no incentive to go the extra mile to keep customers returning. As a result, customers are under-served, under-appreciated, and sometimes turned completely off to doing business at a given store. Employees that are treated as dispensable, disposable assets never perform at the level of workers who know that they are highly valued by their employers.

Greed is the prime reason for disgruntled, surly employees. It is the greed of the people at the higher levels of management that is responsible for surly attitudes. By keeping the lion's share of the profits for themselves through bloated salaries and ridiculously large bonuses, there is only a smattering of money left for the front-line workers. How is this bad for the company's bottom line? High turnover costs real dollars. The hidden costs are greater than a little revenue lost to training new people, however. Poorly-motivated employees do not sell products very well at all. This hits any business right on the bottom line, and hits hard. I have learned through my own experiences at work that great things can be accomplished with small numbers of people, if the people are properly motivated and work as a team. While employed at Talladega Superspeedway as a horticultural worker, I found out exactly what can be accomplished by a bare minimum of employees. Although TSS is the largest track owned by the International Speedway Corporation (based in Daytona, FL), Talladega has the fewest employees. With less than fifty people on site, including management, twice a year the track hosts a quarter-million people attending races. The small facilities maintenance staff of twenty at 'Dega maintain over 3,700 acres with the smallest budget of any ISC track. What makes Talladega Superspeedway different from other racetracks? The workers who maintain the track are all experts at their jobs, self-motivated, and treated with respect by the management. There is really low turnover there, which means that the company's braintrust remains intact from race to race and year to year. The braintrust is important. Having the same people on the staff year-to-year simplifies many issues for the management team.

Retail stores would benefit greatly by following the ISC's example at Talladega. If a given retail store could count on the same employees season-to-season and year-to-year, the braintrust would remain intact; also, the active retention of workers would increase worker morale. Again, happy sales staff sell more product. Do I need to provide references for that fact? I'm too tired to hunt down the statistics for my readers. Sorry, but I think we can all agree that happy workers are harder workers without having to dig up a statistic for y'all......we all know that I ain't talking out of my ass, here. As long as retailers pay ridiculous salaries to their greedy middle and upper managers, they will continue to reap negative benefits. They will make money, but not as much money as could be made with a properly-motivated workforce. Am I getting through to anyone? Am I off-base? Please comment and let me know.

Of Piracy, Goobersmoochers, and the Hairy Eyeball

Image by Grant Neufeld via FlickrOkay, Mammyrammers. It's 2009, and the world is crazier than it was in 2008. America is getting ready to swear in (on multiple levels) a new President, our economy is sucking rocks, and according to BreakinNewsOn, Israeli ground forces are crossing the border into Gaza even as I type this blog into Google Documents. The world economy ain't looking great, either, and conflicts around the world are heating up. Piracy on the high seas is now a real problem.

Wait. Pirates? No. Really? Pirates?

In all this craziness, how the fuck are we supposed to live our lives and go on as if all this crazy shit wasn't happening? The answer: Oh, hell. We aren't supposed to pretend it ain't happening, assholes. Like it or not, this crazy, fucked-up world is the only one we have right now, and we need to be paying attention. We need to pay attention, folks, because if we don't, our politicians and supposed "leaders" that led us into this clusterfuck will continue to drag us all into a sewer of war, rape, and horrible television. If you don't know why things are so fucked-up in the Middle East, then find out by reading about it. In real books. I get a lot of my current news from the internet, but I do not believe for a second that the internet tells a complete story about anything that happens in real life. Be suspicious, fellow rednecks. When you hear one of our beloved politicians make a statement alleging to be fact; do not accept that statement as fact until you have verified it for yourself. Sometimes the best verification is made offline, in print. Sometimes, the truth is only attainable through constant observation of a given subject. In other words, watch what those fuckers in power DO, damn whatever they may be saying.

Okay, I could go on for a long time exhorting my fellow rednecks to do their civic duties, but what the fuck. You goobersmoochers will figure it out, or you won't. Basically, you can only trust friends and family, and sometimes you gotta keep a hairy eyeball on your family. There really was no point to this post, other than to call my loyal readers a few filthy names, post a couple of links, and generally make an ass of myself before I have to go to work. Hey, if I have to go out in the wet, I may as well try to make y'all miserable, too. See y'all tomorrow night on Redneck Radio News at 7:30pm Central, 4:30pm Pacific.

A stingray is eating my johnson

Image via WikipediaA few minutes ago, my dad came to me to tell me something he'd seen on the Animal Planet. Apparently, some nature photographers were shooting some underwater stuff, and came upon a stingray. The photographer got a little too close for the stingray's comfort, and the fish got pissed off. It was pissed-off enough to bite the photog. on the dick. That's right, that stingray bit old dude right on the dingus, and made him bleed.

What is it with underwater science and stingrays? Look, folks; stingrays want to be left the fuck alone. If they don't stab you in the heart with a barbed death-tail, they'll try their damnedest to bite your cock right the fuck off. Me, I'm not going swimming in salt water. I don't wanna die, and I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing that my favorite dick was eaten by a stingray and became shit on the ocean floor. I'm just sayin.

Conquering Web 2.0 with TwitPWR

Image via CrunchBaseTonight, after The Doghouse with Baddog, we had our usual post-production conference call. (okay, that means we stay on Skype when Baddog goes off-air at the end of the show) In our conversation, Baddog turned me on to TwitPWR. Just like Twitter itself, TwitPWR is a very simple app. It's real power lies in the access to the profiles of prolific Twitterers. Through following and interacting with the other folks using TwitPWR, you can not only make new friends, but you can learn an awful lot. I'm particularly interested in the posts by the folks who are doing online marketing and are professional career-and-life haxors.

Immediately after following some folks, I got their direct messages, and replied to some of those. The folks who sent me the messages were some very nice, very bright folks who have things to say that are relevant to my life and my online career. If any of my newest Twitter friends are reading this, thank you for responding so quickly. I have enough links to interesting blogs now to keep me occupied and informed for quite a while. I'll be subscribing to some of your blogs, and keeping up with them on Google Reader.

Almost all of my regular subscribers are using Twitter, so y'all don't need me to tell you how practical the application is for keeping track of the people who matter to you. I won't preach to the choir about Twitter's power here, 'cause I've already posted on it before. I'd provide the link, but again, y'all have already hooked up on Twitter. Thanks for reading, mammyrammers......and to those who were there at The Doghouse tonight......as usual, thank y'all for making the show worth attending. The RRN thanks you.